IF AT FIRST YOU DONT SUCCEED

TRY AGAIN

IF YOU FAIL AGAIN

TRY ONE MORE TIME

IF YOU FAIL AGAIN AND AGAIN

THATS THE TIME....NOT TO GIVE UP

BUT DO MORE PRACTICE

IF STILL YOU FAIL AGAIN........

WHO CARES???    WE ARE ALL HUMANS

WE ARE BOUND TO MAKE BLUNDERS!!!

i have started to put away all our pictures together

have begun to put away these memories

that keep me hanging on ...for quite sometime

they give me some sort of hope

some bit of expectations

that only tends to become more dimmer now

more than ever.

but the hardest part is how to unchained this heart

it doesnt know where to start

trying to cheat how you feel

trying to smile when it hurts the most

but as the song goes to say

im learning the art of letting go.

i wanted to master that.......JUST KIDDING.

1.LAST MOVIE I SAW IN THEATER

         FOREIGN....KUNG FU PANDA

         LOCAL.......MY MONSTER MOM

2.BOOK IM READING

         ANY SUSPENSE ..THRILLER TYPE OF SORT

         WHERE THE VILLAIN IS A HANDSOME GUY

        YOU NEVER SUSPECT ...AND NEVER A LOVE STORY

3.FAVORITE BOARD GAME

        SCRABBLE IN MY YOUNGER DAYS WHEN I WAS

       MAKING AN IMPRESSION...BUT NOW  NO MORE

4.FAVORITE MAGAZINE

         THOSE WITH LIFESTYLES OF FAMOUS PERSONALITIES

         AND MAKE OVER FASHIONS...ETC.

        AND FEEL FRUSTRATED AFTER READING CUZ I COULD NOT

        LIVE LIKE THEM..HA HA

5.FAVORITE SMELL

          ITS THE EARLY MORNING BREEZE IN MY HOMETOWN

          AND BLUEBERRY PERFUME ONCE IN A WHILE

6.FAVORITE SOUND

           SAD SONGS ESPECIALLY WHEN IM FEELING

           I NEED ATTENTION...HA HA

7.WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD

          WHEN I WAS DUMPED FOR SOMEBODY MUCH PRETTIER..

          HU ..HU..HU(SOUND OF CRYING)

8.FAVORITE FAST FOOD

           THOSE WITH CHICKEN NUGGETS

           AND SOME NOODLES SERVED

9.FUTURE CHILD NAME

          IF HE IS A BOY....SHAIJU

          IF A BABY GIRL...CASEY

10.IF I HAD THE TIME IN THE WORLD

          ILL SLEEP AND SLEEP LIKE U SUMMER

11.I EAT BROCCOLI

12.ANY HAIR COLOR

         HAVE COLORED A PORTION OF MY HAIR BLUE ONCE

         BUT DAD GETS  HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

         LIKE TO COLOR IT BROWN

13.I HAVE LIVE IN MANILA FOR MY WHOLE LIFE

     BUT VISIT MY HOMETOWN ONCE IN A WHILE

     HAD BEEN TO SOME FOREIGN LANDS

     BUT IF GIVEN THE CHANCE I WOULD LOVE TO LIVE

    IN THAILAND

14.SPORTS TO WATCH

       IM NOT AN ATHLETIC TYPE SO I FIND SPORTS

       GAME SO BORING

15.WHATS UNDER MY BED?

      MY SLIPPERS ..

16.IF BORN AGAIN

        I WOULD LIKE TO BE MYSELF

        BUT WITH MORE TALENT AND A WILL TO FACE

        HARDSHIPS....NOT ESCAPING THEM

17.MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL

        IM A MORNING PERSON...I HATE THE FEELING

        WHEN THE SUN SETS...I FEEL LONELINESS

18.IF I HAVE A LOT OF MONEY

         I WOULD BUILD A HOME FOR THE AGED...THE ELDERLY

         AND A HOME FOR GAY PEOPLE....THEY ARE THE MOST MISUNDERSTOOD

19.I DONT DRIVE FAST

          I DONT DRIVE ANYWAY...BUT I LIKE MY DRIVER TO

          BE A SLOW DRIVER...I HATE FAST DRIVING

20.I DONT SLEEP WITH STUFF ANIMALS

          IM ALLERGIC TO THEM

22.MY FIRST CAR IS AN FX...HA HA

23.I LOVED SCARY STORIES

24.MY FAVORITE DRINK

            JUST COLA AND PLAIN COLD WATER

25.FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX

           MY BEDROOM...WHERE I CAN BE MYSELF

26.FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR

            MANGO...AND UBE

27.MY DREAM DATE

            MY MEANMAN

28.IM TRYING TO EAT LESS MEAT NOW

     I HAVE READ SOMEWHERE THAT VEGETARIAN PEOPLE HAVE

     FRESHER BREATHS  AND LONGER LIFE

29.I SLEEP IN MY PAJAMAS.

           OLD HABITS HARD TO BREAK.....(LOL)

30.HOW MUCH I SPEND IN DOING THIS?

            NOTHING

31.I AM HAVING FUN DOING THIS FOR MY FRIEND

     I FEEL IM BACK IN MY YOUNGER DAYS

     WHERE I LOVE TO ANSWER MY SCRAP BOOKS

    SO  I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO REVEAL MY SELF TO MY CRUSH...WITHOUT    HIM ASKING....HA HA

32.BUT SUMMER...U FORGOT TO ASK ME MY IDEAL MAN....???

      JUST KIDDING.

there is a saying that

if you are a man courting your  chosen one

take a good look at her mother

because after some years or so

she will be more or less  like her

in shape

in thoughts

and in deed  (just sort of)

and if your  a woman

scrutinize  the suitor you favored most

he may be goodlooking

but if she doesnt have any respect for her mother

beware....you may eend up with an irresponsible husband

a guy who love her mother less

is not a good husband material

believe me   (please i beg you to)

i have seen most the lives of my friends

and my life as well

its like a story being repeated

but with different set ups and venues

but its all the same story plot

others just have some sub..plot and revisions.....

but they have all the ingredients

to have been waiting there

for the right director

to say  his light...camera...action

we have all our stories to tell

but most of them kept to ourselves

because no one will understand really

how we felt until they feel what we have been going through

and its not every day that somebody will just listen to us

sadly...we have our own burdens to take care of

its not that  we dont care

maybe ...maybe its because  we dont have the time

for all we know...they might just be having the worse

as compared to what we are having

there is really no guarantee of a happy life

it has its own colors and pain

a happy face is just a mask

what is important is what we really feel

its easy to judge other people

to have an opinion and solutions to their needs

but when the problem is on us

its a little bit harder...its even more harder...

to advice ourselves as we do advice those that need us

life is a wheel

sometimes its up

sometimes its down....

but what if it got flat along our way

with us down under???

NOW THATS ANOTHER STORY!

i am moving on

got all these boxes of my life

one box full of memories..of my young life

my first smile...my first step

and my dad and moms first hug

my first adventure...away from them

memories of my school days with my few friends

got to put them in another box...they will be there forever.

another box full of memories again

of bittersweet teenage days

of love unreciprocated

and dreams so ideal

but were never realized....they remain as dreams

got to set them aside too

in another box

the box full of hurt and pains

to peep into once in a while

because they remind me of my struggles

that made me what i am today

those little souveneirs i made and received

still in thier faded form now

yet can make me cry once in a while

like my faded memories of them

this box is overflowing

but had to closed it now....ill open it once in a while.....

now another box is in my hand

half empty

like my present state of mind(just kidding)

had to think and plan again

of things to put in there

more careful now

more determined to arrange it the way i want

more careful not to regret later

because there maybe no more boxes left

to accomodate what i need to put inside

i am giving myself more time for this box

it will reflect my whole life

how i correct what has been wronged

and how i learned from my mistakes

how will i face the new challenges that will come

and face them with more willingness to win

rather than surrendering to the odds

taking care of my boxes

is not a simple one

i need them

really need them

and im not looking back

im moving on......yet there is another box left

a box full of prayers

that im doing it right.

all those sleepless nights

all the tears i cried

all the pain i kept inside

i keep asking myself

why you have to say goodbye

was it just a dream

when you say  to me that theres someone new in your life

u could have at least lied

the truth had scared me

even if u mean the whole damn  world to me

i can forget you wait and see

i can be strong even without you

i cant waste my life  forever hoping you come back to me

but deep inside i know

ill be waiting here for you.....

GIVING ALL YOUR LOVE TO SOMEONE

IS NEVER AN ASSURANCE

THAT YOU WILL BE LOVE IN RETURN

HUGGING SOMEONE GOODBYE

LIKE ITS NOTHING....EVEN THOUGH

 ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS TO HOLD

HIM FOREVER

THERE ARE THOSE WHO WERE REALLY NOT MEANT FOR US

NO MATTER HOW WE WANT THEM TO BE...

MISSING YOU ISNT THE HARDEST PART

THE THOUGHT THAT I ONCE HAVE YOU

IS WHAT BREAKS MY HEART

THAT IS WHY.....

IT PAINS ME TO SEE YOU GO

SO WHEN YOU  LEAVE...JUST DONT TURN BACK

JUST REMEMBER THAT IF I EVER MADE

YOU CRY.....

BEAR IN MIND THAT FOR EVERY TEAR THAT FELL FROM YOUR EYES

TWO FELL  FROM MINE..

I USED TO SMILE

WHEN I TELL THEM YOU ARE MINE

NOW I CANT EVEN SMILE

AND SAY YOUR NAME AT THE SAME TIME

ITS HARD TO LET GO

IM NOT HATING YOU FOR GIVING UP

ON ME

I HATE MYSELF FOR FALLING TOO MUCH

FOR YOU

DISTANCE WILL KEEP US APART

BUT IT WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW I FEEL

DEEP INSIDE

SOMEDAY THE PAIN MAY DISAPPEAR

BUT THE SCAR WILL REMAIN

TO HELP ME NOT FORGET

THAT ONCE I FALL IN LOVE........

BUT HAVE TO LET GO

SO ......IF  ONE DAY WE  SHOULD MEET AGAIN AND

MAYBE ABLE TO LOOK IN THAT EYES

WITHOUT FEELING THE PAIN IVE CAUSED YOU

AND MAYBE ABLE TO MENTION

YOUR NAME  AGAIN..WITHOUT THE HURT.

SO UNTIL THEN......I LOVE YOU

AND GOODBYE

in my life

there is always a once in a while

once in a while thoughts

once in a while drama

once in a while wise thinking

and once in a while idle feelings

complaining of things i refuse to do

dreaming of life i could never had

perhaps too much concentration i have for myself

that i forget to give thanks for whatever im complaining

that i forget to notice

i should have given my attention and not seek for that

i should have felt the gratitude rather than waiting for it

i should have appreciated

to have enough of what i need

rather than ask for more

should have look at others sorrows

rather than emphasizing my miseries

i should be happy for other peoples achievement

rather than trying to surpass it

i should have thought that there are those

who love me unconditionally

rather than trying hard to let others

fall in love with me...thereby pleasing them

i tend to lost my identity

i could have waited for life to make me understand

rather than forcing myself to understand

all the why's and what if's  of my time in this world

now im beginning to think

how i wasted my time complaining

when in truth i have so much to give thanks

realizing that i could have extend a helping hand

instead of feeling helpless

sometimes...im feeling that

once in a while......

when was the last time i said i love you

when was the lastime time u said it...but never

really meant it

when was the last time i feel i need you

and the last time you were never to be found

when was the last time i cry?

was it just only yesterday...or just an hour ago?

i can still taste the pain

still cant see clearly because tears shadows my eyes

still cant breath freely...heartaches managed to blocked my throat....it seems

i was alone...in this battle...i feel the void

need to tell myself your gone

need to wake up from this dream

its seems a forever nightmare

i need to face the ghosts that haunts me endlessly

i feel im gaining the strength but not the will

im realizing the painful truth but not accepting it with open heart

correcting what is wrong...but doing it again

i will never moved on...i am trying...i guess.

it seems so weird in my everyday life here in the shop

observing how this liitle thing called the computer

really affects our everyday life

replacing the warmth of  real human touch

living in the world of half truth

the rest all fantasies...i always wonder

little boys glued to computer games

as if their life depends on it

even escaping their meals,,,just to level up(thats the term)

highschool girls in their webcam giggling

to unknown forces not of their kind

to opportunists in net looking for innocent souls

and mid aged women looking for future spouses

unaware of strangers lurking in the dark

ready to step in to this vulnerable souls

and philandering men

not contented with mere cellphones

exchanging privacy in net

i know its none of my business

to peep into their lives

each has its own reasons

each has his own right

but i just want to justify

the mere observation i want to emphasized

is the computer running our life now?

do we really feel the love we feel while in the shadow

of this digital thing?

or maybe just an outlet

to escape the hurt of reality

talking to people who never knew our past

and may never know those things

we always dont want other people to know

hide our fears thru the net

express those ideas we are afraid to say in real life

say those pains we can never tell anybody

but feel comfortable announcing it to people

we never meet in our life

those dark side  we can only divulge in net

those fantasies we only keep to ourselves.......

BUT did we ever realize

that as we live everyday like this

we somehow lost the human touch

the everyday bonding with real people

who makes you happy ...because we are too busy

with this kind of modern living

the warm hellos now express in emails

will forever make us lost in reality

that may lead us to feel not a person anymore

just a mere machine....

its just an observation

nothing serious

but on second thoughts

am i wrong?